Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt, and he has an interesting family tree:
In 1957, Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate,
owner of Needeep
N. Schitt, Inc.
They had one
Jack Schitt grew up and married Noe, and together Jack and Noe
(who came to
be known as "The
didn't really have the Schitt
Bull Schitt (who
really looked like
Schitt, the father),
and the twins: Dip
Dip Schitt was not very bright,
and was known as "The stupid Schitt",
and she married
Dumb Schitt, a high school drop
out who happened to share the same last name (no relation, however).
Friends affectionately nicknamed them "The Schitts". Their marriage produced no little Schitts.
The other twin, Deep
on to build a deodorant empire, which became famous for it's
Interestingly, that slogan only worked in the United States,
and another slogan was more popular in the U.K.: "Put a dab of Schitt on
When the company launched it's product into Australia, a third
slogan was used successfully: "Smell Like Schitt Down Under".
But soon, trouble
developed and Noe
Jack and promptly married
a nice man named Ted Sherlock, but being a modern woman, she
decided to hyphenate her name. She become known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Jack was depressed at losing
Noe, but he, too, remarried
a nice lady named Loda. The blushing bride,
Loda Schitt, produced a son of nervous
disposition, whom they named Chicken Schitt.
Jack and Loda went on to produce two more boys, Krappy Schitt and Ugglee Schitt.
brothers, Krappy and Ugglee, married the stunningly beautiful Happens Sisters in a dual ceremony.
The "Schitt-Happens" Wedding was a
huge affair, and this union also produced many offspring:
But once again,
Jack lost his love for his
wife, and left to tour the world. He recently returned from an
extended visit to Italy with his newest bride, Pisa.
Presently Jack Schitt and his 3rd wife, Pisa Schitt, are living without
children in New Jersey on property which contains a stream of
water, now known to the locals as "Schitt Creek."
(From now on,
nobody can say you don't know Jack Schitt!)