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2006 Dictionary of new Business Euphemisms

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a
deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was
responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of
noise, craps on everything and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb
success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather
than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day
swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something
loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the
walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line answer to the couch potato.

SITCOM: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of
them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in
divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed
out and whiny.

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SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered
useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from
extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from
one's workplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are
annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
The O.J. trial was a prime example. Bill Clinton's Grand
Jury testimony is another.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck
out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to
reach all the appropriate keys for some computer commands.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning
just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the
adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or
irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error
message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document
could not be located.

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are
exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food
joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you
realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks


 

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