These are
Cool Links we're done with now,
which are excited because
they're about to be sent to spend
the rest of their lives in Linky & Dinky's Secret Clubhouse
STAR TREK's "MEMORY ALPHA" Wiki For example, did you know that despite
the Federation's control of the the
Chin'toka system between the First and
Second Battles of Chin'toka, there were
still constant skirmishes in the star
system on the planet AR-558 with the Dominion?
(I didn't think so!)
ANTIPODE MAP Drag around the top map to see what's
on the opposite side of the earth.
STATUE (sta'choo); noun; a carved or cast figure of a
person or animal, especially
one that is life-size or larger.
(Brainiac alert!) THE EXTINCTION TIMELINE of EVERYTHING.
"Keys" will be extinct by 2030.
"Ashtrays" will be extinct by 2012.
The demise of lots of things is coming.
NAME THAT (half eaten) CANDY BAR You can see the nugget, you can see the caramel,
you can see its nuts -- which delicious
mid-day snack are we talking about?
YOUTOMB Watch the latest videos REMOVED from
YouTube for violations. Kind of defeats
the purpose, doesn't it?
HI-LARIOUSNESS at BILL O'REILLY's EXPENSE
It's the Bill O'Reilly hissy-fit tape,
this time re-humored into a rap video.
And it's fantastic (warning, Bill O'Reilly
has a bad potty mouth).
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Linky & Dinky pound the pavement, searching for a buyer of their horror screenplay "Cool Links on a Plane".
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Linky & Dinky's Keynote Address to the National Convention of Cool Link Afficiados receives a thunderous standing ovation that has to dispersed with firehoses.
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Linky & Dinky compete in the TiVO Xtreme PowerUser Competition.
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Linky & Dinky take sugarless gum one step further... introducing: CHEWLESS GUM!
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Linky & Dinky decide to spread out their cool links over several thousand miles before the ballooning weight of the collection begins to effect the rotation of the earth, and they get in trouble for it.
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Linky & Dinky give the Commencement Address via chat session for a little known online university.
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK:
Uncle Url strongly suggests that Linky & Dinky go with "Cool Links & The City", rather than the less tasteful, "Sex & The Cool Links" as the name of their new neighborhood stage play.
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Linky & Dinky try to Trip the Light Fantastic, but just trip.
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Linky & Dinky trot down to the City Hall to renew their license to be Cool Link Practitioners.
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK:
Linky & Dinky remind you to not miss next week.
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Linky & Dinky show up at the "Tit for Tat" store with a pocketful of Tats, ready to trade.
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Linky & Dinky try it without the cue cards.
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Linky & Dinky "agree to disagree" and then commence to pummel the crap out of each other.
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Uncle Url sits Linky & Dinky down for a serious chat, explains there is "something wrong with him" and he "needs a specialist" and it will take time and energy to overcome it, it's not covered by health insurance, and right before the boys pass out from worry, he reveals that his ailment is he needs a haircut, and he laughs all the way to the barbershop.
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Linky & Dinky are shocked and flooded with mixed emotions when they answer a knock at the door, and a stunning young lady introduces herself as their long lost cousin, Kinky.
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Linky & Dinky will hold a Cool Link Workshop this coming Sunday at 4:00 am.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky ink a deal to be the Official Cool Links Provider of the 2008 Olympics.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky's simple, chronic halitosis captures the attention of scientists when a single gentle breath of it melts steel.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky flatly deny being the so-called "Clients #612 and #613", respectively, last year during the long weekend they flew to New York for a Cool Links Conference where they skipped the Newsletter Publisher's Mixer on Saturday night because they said they were going to turn in early due to the quiche not sitting well and nobody saw them again until the next morning at breakfast where they looked very guilty.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky launch LinkyDinkyPedia.com
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky add cool links to the gas tank, and achieve 85 mpg before the smoke becomes overwhelming.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME pack only their thongs and head out to the beach for Spring Break.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky are deep into secret negotiations with CBS to take over the helm of 'The Late Show' when Letterman retires next year.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky explain to the two young ladies they just met that creativity and intellectual curiosity, as explored through cool links, leads to a fulfilling life, well lived. And then Dinky tries to cop a feel and blows the whole thing.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky start a web site to provide support and counseling for clickoholics.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky remember the days of wine and roses, new loves and passionate experiences, Valentines, tainted love and a month in quarantine.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky profusely apologize for the unusual number of skull explosions and near fatal bowel movements caused by this week's newsletter being so overwhelmingly cool.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky climb into their pajamas, gather their favorite toys and play at the feet of Uncle Url in his easy chair next to the fireplace, as he lights his pipe and reads aloud from Doug Noland's Credit Bubble Bulletin
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky: "We believe the appropriate economic stimulus needed to boost the markets would be a substantial injection of more cow bell."
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky are kind enough to offer their opinions without having to be asked.
DON'T MISS NEXT WEEK: Linky & Dinky admit they've learned everything they know about computers from Apple TV ads.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky enact an 20% Tolerance Policy they can live with.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky invent a new guessing game for when walking around the mall, called "Schizophrenia or Bluetooth?"
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky strive to meet the goal of being 50% more fair, and achieve it, but end up being 50% less balanced in the process.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky's New Year's Resolution is to learn a new body language.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky open the world's first TV Dinner restaurant, microwaving piping-hot frozen entrees directly on your table!
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky play poker with their gift cards.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky wish there was going to be an Anti-Rapture in which all bad people disappeared. .
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky are still pouring over the tape from the Victoria's Secret Fashion show like it was the Zapruder film.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky predict 2007 will end in "weeks, not months"
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky ponder the majesty of creation when they realize that like snowflakes, no two cool links are ever alike.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky's new line of freeze-dried cool links sells just about as well as you'd think they would.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky borrow their way to fabulous fame and fortune with a teaser 2% negative amortization rate for the first two years, followed by a floating interest rate calculated upon prime +10% for the balance of the 28-year loan.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Due to the rising cost of fuel and other inflationary pressures, Linky & Dinky are forced to raise their personal appearance fee to two Yoo-Hoos each.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky awaken to discover that not only are all the doors in the house ajar, all the jars in the house are adoor.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky fall far behind X'ing off days on the calender, and fear they may never catch up.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky dress up as cool links for halloween (again).
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky receive an anonymous text message warning that they may have already contracted Restless Leg Syndrome.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky continue to prove they are the "Kings of all Media" by slapping cool links on a line of bumper stickers and bus stop benches.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky publish a book of Easy Cool Link Recipes.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky are unfazed by the Writer's Strike, boldly penning newsletter themselves!
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Uncle Url writes a passionate letter to presidential candidate Ron Paul, urging him
to put the dollar on a cool link standard, rather than the gold standard.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky resume their Christmas custom of wandering through shopping malls, passing out holiday cool links on toothpicks.
DON'T MISS NEXT TIME Linky & Dinky mingle anonymously among the crowds of shoppers, smiling knowingly to each other "if these people only knew who we were, wow".