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"Thank you for calling the
Whacko Hotline..."
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 .

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and small voice will tell you
which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,
no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until
a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number,
date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y &
c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep,
or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory
loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to
talk to you."

 

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YOUR FRIEND!
Your friend's e-mail address:


Your E-mail address:

 

 

 

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